checkinyourbra: (taeyeon03)
[personal profile] checkinyourbra

Title: Skandl! (Chapter 18)

Pairing(s): TaengSic, side!YulTi

Rating/Genre: PG-13 + language; AU Idol Romance

Warning(s): 아니

Disclaimer: I don't own Soshi. I don't own anyone, in fact. All Fiction.

Author's Notes: I wrestled this chapter in a vat of mud. lolll. Hopefully, it conveys what I want.

Eighteen: Taeyeon


These pillows smell like Jessica.

Taeyeon smiled brainlessly, lazily into meadow-scented softness. While swathed in lush fibers, bare as a babe save her cotton briefs, the singer relished in the dream. Only a dream could put her in this restful mood.

“Sweetheeeart,” she purred, secretly hating herself for being so gone. Ah well, it was just a dream. Pride could suck her tit.

Prickles brushed her hip and she shifted. An imaginary tree branch or unkempt thatch of grass, no doubt. She lucidly banished the mild annoyance to the ether. Mega advantage of controlling her unconscious state: real world crap couldn’t interfere. Taeyeon ruled this space.

Capitalizing on this tempting fact, a very nude Jessica Jung reified beneath her, haloed by a bounty of wild flowers.


And as her lips sloped to push the narrative into a tantalizing direction, the branches returned. Rougher this time. Accompanied by a harsh aroma. Spice, but not the kind she wished to eat. Tangy, costly, disconcerting incense.

Fumes wilted every petal touching her fingers and her lady faded into the aforementioned ether. Taeyeon had no mind to save Meadow Jessica when the last damn voice she ever wanted to hear abducted her audibles like aliens in Manolo pumps.

“Why the--” Taeyeon flailed in the thick haze of wakefulness, feeling, hearing Bae Soojin’s fucking breath. She jostled to the farthest end of a bed that wasn’t nearly big enough. Hesitating in her nakedness, she stuffed a pillow, blankets--anything that fit within her arms--over her chest.


It’d been years since they’d been so close. Jinnie smelled the same. Smiled the same. Laughed the same as hazel bore through the barricade of material. “Bashful? It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before.”

She’d let this monster kiss her, take her, experience parts that stoked shame in her empty stomach. Taeyeon batted painfully immediate tears, eyeing the room for Jessica. Yuri’s lump of passed out repose wouldn’t spring to action. “Fuck you.”

“Cursing me for my good deed? Rude.”

“There’s nothing good about you.”

Jinnie flicked auburn strands from her cheek, smirk penetrative. “You wound me.”

You’re wounded?” Her syllables were shaky as a rotted bridge. She pressed covers harder onto her body, wanting Jessica. Narsha or Sunny. Mostly Jessica.

“You really have a penchant for Lucky Girls, huh? Me, now my’s your only way of indirectly getting in the group, I suppose.”

Taeyeon erupted from her blanket cocoon, belting every flagrant term she knew. Anyone else in the dorm could fuck themselves. She no longer cared if the devil saw her scrawny body stomp to the Jessica’s closet. Staying put wasn’t a sane alternative. “I don’t know why the hell you’re here or what the happened to everybody, but I’m not sticking around for your shit.”

“Jung called me.”

The singer babble-mimicked Jinnie, missing every other button on a plaid top. “Whatever, bitch.”

“You should be thanking me.”


“It’s 10:26.” The redhead replied cooly, tapping the platinum watch amongst her wrist of mismatched bracelets. “Late for a show? Tsk.”

Oh, hell. Skandl’s lie-fest for Heechul’s asshole interview. “Wow, I appreciate you waking me thirty minutes after my schedule begins. Right on.”

“It’s more than your little squeeze could do.”

“Wonderful. I’m awake. Can you refrain from polluting my life?”

She tensed when Jinnie moved closer. “I did like you, Taeyeon. At Elite…”

“Nope!” Taeyeon pressed her shoulder blades to the wall. The ability to go ghost would come in handy.

“I’m making amends.”

“You’d never do that. You--you can’t undo the past with a ‘no hard feelings’ Band-Aid.”

“Why not?”

Accepting that plaster couldn’t move for her hopeless whims, Taeyeon rushed the long way around the woman she once called perfect. Detouring at Tiffany’s bed to give Yuri a firm sock in the ribs.

The girl didn’t budge. She bent to try again, only for a hand to brush up her spine.

“I said,” Taeyeon slapped Jinnie’s arm so sharply, it stung her palm. “I’m done with you!”

Jinnie’s ‘nice girl’ façade fell, as expected. “I can’t say the same!”

“Boo fuckin’ hoo.”

Out of the blue, Soojin skirted forward, pulled Taeyeon by the ear, and led her into the living room. She waved the hand in a long flourish. “Look around you, Kim Taeyeon. This isn’t my domain anymore. You won.”

The brazen declaration cut her at the quick. She...won?

“Isn’t this your dream? The demise of my Lucky Six career--the one I gained partially by nixing you out of the equation? Well, here I am, for you to mock in real time.”

Damn, did Jessica break her?

Taeyeon’s inner asshole beckoned her to snicker. Guffaw, even. Right into this fake bitch’s face. Take that, Bae Jinnie! She lost to her, Kim Taeyeon, leader of her own band.

The smirk didn’t form. Neither did the laugh.

“My old life is finished,” Jinnie sobbed, literally shaking in her heels. “And I really loved that life. Do you know how many Charms found out about my pregnancy? Too many. It’s pretty much an open secret, even for the international fanbase.”

That was true. Taeyeon read the forums herself.

“Stardom is a drug. You understand. I can’t not entertain. Yet, who the hell wants a knocked-up girl group member? Believe me, it doesn’t test highly in the important demographics.” Jinnie kept trembling--something unrecognizable in Taeyeon’s eyes. “What do I have to show for it?” Her fingers lowered to caress the space above her empire waist jeans. “No baby. No career. No friends. You won, Taeyeon. Congratulate yourself.”

Suspicious. Bae Soojin could use any kind of sympathy to manipulate--lost fetus included. Until that moment, Taeyeon questioned the alleged miscarriage, too.

This “win” seemed hollow--dare she confess--meaningless. Taeyeon’d been hellbent since Skandl’s debut to take Jinnie down...with music charts and awards shows. Occupation. Not like this. “Why should I believe you?”

Jinnie squared her light eyes. “My uncle’s a religious man. If I atone for shaming the company and my family, he’ll rethink my suspension.”

“You haven’t changed.”

“I’m literally begging you and I do not beg. Pat yourself on the back!”

Taeyeon gulped a sick knot. There was forever a motive with this fiend. “I won’t.”

“I’m being punished, Taeyeon! Make this worth your while.”

“I can’t take orders from you. Ever again.”

Jinnie’s long nails clamped onto Taeyeon’s shoulders. Voice ravening, frenzied. “Don’t you fucking get mysteriously mature about our feud. I hurt you. Return the favor.”


“Be mad!”

“I am mad, Soojin!” Up close, where she could see pores and an unflattering shade lipstick on heart-shaped lips, the devil didn’t intimidate. “Jinnie, your kisses used to set me on fire. You were the first to...put your mouth on me.”

The claws in her shirt loosened. “I was.”

“I told you ‘I love you’ and you said it back. You lied.”

“I did.”

Taeyeon’s inner 18-year-old withered at the concise reply. “And you betrayed me.”

“I saw what Won and the others couldn’t. But, you put your goals ahead of everything, including mine. I needed you dropped.”

“You forced me out the closet to Elite and my parents. They haven’t recovered from that, so you know.”


“You betrayed me.”

“Yes, I did.”

“And now, you’re a loser. A fucking loser.”

Obviously, Jinnie wouldn’t concede that far. “You’re lovin’ this.”

Love wasn’t the word. Call it validation. Proof, evidence that she hadn’t been irrationally hostile for years. Breathing heavily, Taeyeon whispered, “I’m sorry about your little girl.”

Hazel eyes met hers. “Jung told you?”

“A hunch.”

To be honest, Taeyeon noticed when Jinnie checked the time. Among the rings of mismatched bracelets was elastic lace wrapped twice around her meager wrist. A pink newborn’s headband.

She couldn’t let the woman know she still watched her like a hawk. That was how she survived--by immersing herself with information. “I’ve been mad for too long, Jinnie. I’m tired.”

“Is that why you slept through fifty missed calls?”

Taeyeon stepped sideways, skeptical, until Jinnie revealed a smartphone from her shirt. “Surprise.”

“Oh, gross. You hold stuff in your bra?”

“It’s convenient.”

“And sweaty.” She flicked at the warm screen, disgusted that spicy perfume clung to her property. Also, a little disturbed by their piece of civility. “Damnit, she must be worried.”

“I texted her. Your fruity creampuff will survive.”

M00dy bear: swt♥ i’m awake. thanks.
M00dy bear: next time no ex grlfriends
M00dy bear: or we’ll be burying a corpse

“Hyo told me you and Jessica were dating,” Jinnie mumbled, reading over her shoulder. “Another nail in the coffin, so to speak. Jessica takes my place in Lucky Six and she takes you.”

“I’m not yours.”

“I know; that’s how I see you, though.”

Taeyeon let the delusional comment go. “Karma’s a bitch.”

“The biggest.”

C♡ma: BABY!!!!!!! :))))) OM
C♡ma: OMFG Are yuo
C♡ma: at
C♡ma: Heechul????///
C♡ma: I’m drunk oh gd
M00dy Bear: lol. not yet. will text u when i’m there.
C♡ma: ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
M00dy Bear: lamebot.
M00dy Bear: :*

“So, you and Jessica are serious?”

Taeyeon glanced up at Jinnie’s expression, reading unspoken words. This marked her chance to warn, ‘don’t cross Jessica ever again’. Though, Jessica did an effective job of neutering this beast without her help. Take the five away from a Sixer and she’s “Um, I’d say we are.”

“Nari--” Jinnie paused for the unborn daughter’s name to sink in. “Her father and I dated on and off for two months.”

“Dated or fucked casually?”

“Semantics. Can you believe it? Sixty days of gettin’ some and here I am. Lucky Six, indeed.”

She felt like the kid who finally flashed a light beneath her bed, finding no monsters. The situation must have finally sunk into Jinnie’s thick skull. “Life’s fickle. You may be the luckiest of all.”

“Don’t patronize me.”

“You’re free to love and live how you see fit without putting your friends at risk.”

Taeyeon was a little jealous.

“Eff that garbage. I’m made for K-Pop. And if I play my cards right, I’ll have a solo stage at this summer’s ‘Girls Only’ concert. You’ll be there to see me slay in person.”

“Crash and burn.”

“You wish. I’m not giving up, like you suggest.”

She glazed over her phone conversation, sighing. “I dunno...I envy that freedom.”

“What’s that girl done to my determined, devil-may-care Kim Taeyeon?” Jinnie fake-exclaimed, producing car keys from a purse.

Taeyeon’s stomach clenched as she skimmed ALL CAPS messages from Narsha and some from Sunny, too. “Damnit. That stupid show--”

“Heechul and I are tight. Think of me as your golden ticket off of his shit list.”


“I can’t defeat you if you’re fired for being careless.”

Jinnie was viciously competitive, obnoxious, spoiled, and an overall loathsome adversary. Ultimately, she wasn’t a big threat anymore. Nor dangerous.

What a simple relief.

Taeyeon wandered to the bedroom, stepping over cat toys and littered sock balls. She never reached Jinnie’s point--where bitterness turned into senseless vitriol. And she thanked her non-god for evading that down-sloped road. Jinnie appreciated music, but she obsessed over the fame, mostly. Made Taeyeon wonder where she fell in that spectrum.

The room was dark, so she parted the curtains for a yellow slice of sun. Yuri would value the extra sleep and a hot Jessica and Tiffany’s bathroom. Despite her experience at the Lucky dorm, Yuri would probably electrocute herself in the SooHyo option.

Remembering Tiffany and her cold foreboding dampened any pleasant thoughts. YulTi’s origin story inspired Taeyeon to give Jessica a chance. Damn.

Yuri’s untouched glass of water sweated a dark ring onto the wooden nightstand. Taeyeon chugged it, anyway.

“Up, bitch. We gotta lie about being straight.”

As imagined, the heavy drunk sleeper lacked a rebuttal.


Taeyeon faltered. Yuri’s skin was cold to the touch.

“Yul!” She spread the woman to her back, pressing two fingers into her neck.

No pulse.

Or...did she feel it? It was weak.


Taeyeon eyed her shirt for movement instead of a second jab for a pulse. She wasn’t a freaking doctor.

Slow, infrequent breaths lifted her chest as a minute ticked by.

“C’mon, babes. Please.”

The guitarist’s right eye hung half-open, unblinking. Taeyeon frantically slapped her cheeks. “Oh, fuck, no! J-Jess--ugh!” She grappled at her own messy hair. “Jinnie! Jinnie, help!”

She barely picked up on Jinnie’s footsteps or her gasp as she walked into the presence of a very unresponsive Kwon Yuri.

Taeyeon only heard her raspy voice quiver into a phone’s receiver, calling an ambulance.

Hours later, Taeyeon and Sunny sat quiescent in a hospital room. Electronic blips and clicks lulled Taeyeon into an unavoidable limbo of distress. When the authorities barraged Taeyeon with questions, she’d been reduced to panic mode yet again. Jinnie’s presence hardly benefited the singer; she proceeded to coax her through every damn sentence of the explanation: club setting, an undetermined number of vodka shots, toxic cocktails. Taeyeon hesitantly tacked on the most important bit:

Yuri was on drugs. Given by an unnamed source.

The man penning the clipboard simply nodded, thanking her for her honesty.

Tubes and hookups strapped Yuri to a medically white bed. It gave her a half-human, half-cyborg likeness. Cheerful, healthy Yuri would call that concept cool. This--not so much.

Narsha went full Satan on the two conscious members. Taeyeon’s parents--who managed to send a short sympathy email after being informed--raised her lightly. No spanking. Minimal finger-wagging. So, her manager’s upbraiding, pointing discipline stunned Taeyeon. Sunny had to hold her hand in case she bolted like a hosed cat.

Sunny folded a sticky note into her thirtieth ninja star. It made more sense for Skandl than origami cranes.

“When will she leave?” Taeyeon knew the answer; yet, the silence between them induced early-onset insanity.

“Tomorrow. Her fam plans to take her home for R&R. She’ll recover best.”

“Mm.” Taeyeon wondered about that level of familial trust. Especially for her girlfriend. “Jessica’s cranky sister wants to meet me.”

“Will you?”

“I have no choice.”

“You always have a choice,” Sunny muttered, flicking a star from her knee launchpad.

It disappeared under Yuri’s bed. “Just a Skype vidchat. She goes to college overseas.”


“The hell, Sunny?” Taeyeon’s eyebrows dipped down, frustrated.

“What do you expect from me, Tae?” Sunny flapped wet eyelashes, taking in their resting friend while she spoke at normal volume. “Gathering the pieces of your breakup with Jinnie scarred me for life. She almost extinguished your career and your heart. Who’s to say that won’t happen again?”

“Me. I’ll say it. Jinnie and Jessica aren’t the same person.” The blonde kept the earlier exchange to herself. Saved them from piling on another argument.

“Sleeping with you confirmed what I always assumed: you’re clingy. You take simple relations and magnify them to--”

“Way to be goddamned condescending.”

“Call me condescending. Selfish, too.” Sunny faced Taeyeon, curved lips drawn unnaturally taut. “Alone, we can sustain. As a group, Skandl suffers when you’re distracted.”

“I see. Yul gets a free pass while I’m left to wilt like an old spinster?”

“I let you loose to pursue Jessica and this happens…”

“L-let me loose?” Taeyeon saw red. “Fuckin’ hell?! I would have gone for her regardless of what you supposedly let me do.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

“Yes, I would.”


Taeyeon flashed back to Yuri and Tiffany’s banter over late night rice balls. Was she really that passive in everyone’s eyes? “I invited her to our show, not Yul.”

“Jessica’s murdering your motivation.”

“Yeah? Hm, the bitch you banged nearly murdered our friend. You’ve outdone me.”

Shame shuttered Sunny’s features. Instantly resentful, Taeyeon apologized. “I didn’t mean that.”

“My recklessness put her in this place.”

“I should’ve monitored her drinking, knowing she was depressed and all…”

“I casted that chick aside like a disposable sex toy. None of my conquests have ever retaliated.”

“We’re even, okay? Neither of us had Yul in mind.”

“That’ll change today.”


“You’re in love with Jessica, aren’t you?”

Taeyeon sensed this question popping up eventually. Stringing a lock of hair, she mumbled, “What do you think?”

“I think I want a straightforward response.”

A billion evasion techniques waded in her brain stream. She opted for the truth instead--couldn’t ignore it forever. “I’ve loved Jessica since she found me before the midnight show. We phoned across the stage and it was indescribable. I couldn’t believe that gorgeous oddball would make the time for me...’cause she...yeah.” Taeyeon shook her head, wearing a proud blush. “She said I looked hot in leather.”

“You do.”

They laughed softly. “I shouldn’t have used you.”

“Did you feel anything, Tae? When we were together?”

“As in…?”

Sunny crushed a crooked star. “Nothing specific.”

“Hm.” Things were getting awkward. Sunny’s least favorite. “We had a good, short-lived run. I promise I didn’t sprout heart eyes whenever I heard your name. You’d hate that.”

“I’d hate having a mutual admirer?”

“Not your scene.”

“You make a dumb blonde, Tae.”

“Shut up.”

The musician searched Taeyeon’s face for half a beat. Changing gears, she kept folding. “We’re not sexually compatible, you know. If we’re being truthful here.”

“Damn, my ego.”

Her best friend smirked, shoving them shoulder-to-shoulder. “I miss our team. Yul stably dating Fany, me writing and boning without repercussions, and Kim Taeyeon--our Lone Ranger--hot-headed and plotting the downfall of your most hated idol group: Lucky Six.”

“I sound pathetic,” Taeyeon sighed.

“Tae, I quit Elite because of your injustice. Seeing you falling for Jinnie’s replacement is...perplexing. Déjà vu. Jessica’s pretty; I can’t understand the appeal beyond that.”

“Trust me, alright?”

Yuri groaned awake right as Sunny jutted her chin upwards in a careful nod. The girls flew to their bandmate’s side, mouths foaming with questions and apologies.

The reclining woman growled, pointing at the ceiling. A string of grunts later, they caught on and flicked off the bright hospital lights.

“Buddy, you’re alive!” Taeyeon thought she’d cried enough for one day. Wrong again.

Sunny stuck a stamp of lip gloss onto Yuri’s cheek. “How do you feel?”

“Like roadkill.”

Their giggles roused not even a smile. Struggling to sit up, slow-motioned in lethargy, Yuri made an eye pass through the arc of the room. “Fany?”

Slightly offended, Taeyeon murmured, “The Six had business with their manager.”


“Good. Jessica wants to wait ‘til she’s sober to fill me in.”

“Call Fany. She’ll flip when she finds out where I am.”

“Later, girl,” Sunny purred, stroking Yuri’s balled fist. “You have us. And your parents took the first flight from Indonesia. Apparently, you can’t vacay while your kid’s out for alcohol poisoning and some wack drugs? I’ll never get old people.”

Where Yuri was supposed to chuckle, she sneered. “Fany’s the only one who takes care of me around here.”

Faith in a betrayer. Taeyeon revved to tell her so and felt the wrath of Sunny’s knuckles rapping her hip.

“Yul’s in pain, Tae,” she hissed, “Don’t take it to heart. God.”

“Fuck off, Sunny.”

“Are you PMS-ing? Christ.

Taeyeon warred the urge to smack Sunny back. If anybody, Tiffany deserved a swift punch. Grumbling, she summoned Narsha out in the hallway.

She wasn’t alone.

“Thank those damn doctors,” Narsha breathed, bringing Yuri’s face into her bosom. “You’re going to grey every hair on my head. I already hassle my hairdresser enough.”

Yuri sunk into the motherly embrace. “Sorry. Again.”

“We’ll think about that tomorrow. What’s most important is your health.” Narsha held an arm out. “You too, ya knuckleheads. Give me some love.”

Taeyeon nuzzled Narsha’s blouse, memorizing her scent--Coco Noir and inkjet printers. Narsha even smelled business-y. Somehow, it comforted her more than muffins, soap, or any domestic item. “Love you, Narsha.”

“Me, too,” her friends echoed closeby.

Narsha’s glasses tipped off her small nose. Rather than adjusting, she pulled the three in tighter. “My scandalous little terrors. I love you more.”

Taeyeon wiped wet cheeks into her sleeve. “We’ll abide by our curfew from now on. Tell me you’re not in trouble.”

Sunny’s voice was hoarse from crying, too. “We can make up Heechul’s show, right?”

“Shhh,” Narsha smoothed a white strand from her brow. “Discussions later.”

“I’ll never drink again,” Yuri whimpered, tugging at a tube in her arm.

The older woman snickered. “I say this whenever wine gets the better of me. Drink responsibly. That’s all I ask.”

“No more party drugs.”

“I’ll co-sign that one.”

“Narsha,” Taeyeon croaked, anxiety ballooning, “Are you in trouble?”

“Trouble’s not the name for it,” an unwelcomed man’s voice declared from his voyeur post. “Narsha has been promoted to a position of the administrative persuasion.”

“Doesn’t sound like a promotion to me.” Her friends glared, silently agreeing.

Dong-gun fiddled with his silver iPad. “Narsha’s approach doesn’t work for Lim Theatrics’ superiors. Including myself, I may add.” He tossed the tablet to the bed, onto Yuri’s feet. “She’ll put out public statements to deter a catastrophe. We’ll call this…”

“Side effects of dehydration and overexertion,” Narsha clarified.

“Yes, that.”

“I’ve also scheduled Tae for an MC event,” she disclosed with a wink. “Part of reacclimating Minah from the dungeon.”

Taeyeon grew sicker. “Minah?”

“Keep Big Mouth in the dungeon,” Yuri grouched, anger rekindling.

“That’s not a nice thing to say about your fellow LTE artist,” Dong-gun lectured, ever the condescending bastard. “Narsha cut a lot of corners for this, Taeyeon. You will not miss it.”

“Please, don’t,” Narsha acquiesced, “You, Loco, and Minah are hosting one of P.A.G.A.N.’s comeback specials. I truly think it’ll help. What with you deleting all your Picpockette posts...”

Taeyeon stomped in a mini tantrum. “Fuuuuuck, it was loaded with bitchy butthurt spam. Had to take out the trash.” Nights earlier, she cleared every picture except one--the image of her new hairstyle and piercing. The photo Jessica loved so much.

“Ignore the antis. They’ll grow bored and move onto someone else.”

“But Loco? We’re still selling that bullshit?”

“Leaders put themselves behind group interests,” Dong-gun butted in once again, his tone stern this time. “You will MC a show with your boyfriend and Minah, your equally heterosexual idol colleague. The rebellion stops here.”

Taeyeon pouted to Narsha, receiving nothing in return but, “Listen to him. He’s in charge.”

Filming alongside two mouth-running drama magnets. Under the gross scrutiny of literally the most hated man in close contact. All for fudging her duties as Skandl’s leader and taking the roller coastered plunge into careless territory. She’d been blowing Jinnie off when she used the generic statement. Although, it fit her sentiments:

Karma was a bitch.

Got YulTae feels. Because they're adorbs. :33

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